A stranger for a buddy

[stphnmartin]

I was recently diving off the NC coast and had a terrible experience. I emailed some friends about it and will share that email below. But, basically, I'd like some advice about what you do when buddying with a stranger for a dive. Do you have any methods for evaluating their abilities? And, perhaps a way to decline partnering with them? And, at what point do you feel you are responsible for someone else's safety?

Email (sorry it's a bit long):

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Went on my first dive trip today in NC. Went out to the Spar and the Aeolus. Hurricane Arthur has really mucked up the water and the viz was about 20 feet. Pretty bad.

The boat wasn’t very crowded. I was tempted to solo dive since the captain knows me and allows me to do so. But, there was one person without a buddy and I said I’d dive with him. Big mistake.

When I was at the dive shop checking in, the guy I was to partner with, Jose, was checking in next to me. They asked for his C card and he said he didn’t have it with him, but that he had an electronic one on his phone. I didn’t think anything of it at the time.

I talked to him a bit on the boat ride out to the first dive site and he said he dives almost exclusively in Mexico. He was diving air and I was diving nitrox so I told him I was okay with him taking off when he ran out of no deco time. He said that was fine and I said we’d probably be back near the anchor line by then anyways and I would head up a short while after him.

He neglected to use the bungies on his tanks and both of them fell on the deck on the way out. When he assembled his rig, he left the bungie on and when we were ready to get in, he had to disassemble his first stage in order to get the bungie off. That’s when he realized he hadn’t assembled his weight belt. One of the dive masters assembled it for him and although the captain signaled us to go in first, we got in last after all the miscues.

The dive went as well as it could with the poor viz. I know the wreck well so it was easy to navigate with limited viz. Jose stuck with me. Saw a couple sand tiger sharks but they disappeared quickly. I was noticing my no deco time getting low and I thought for certain Jose should be heading up. I signaled to ask if his time was okay, he looked at his pressure gauge and said okay. I directed us back to the anchor line and asked him again if his time was okay. He said yes. I then realize he didn’t know what he was doing. I signaled again if he should go up and he said no. So, I said to myself, okay, he’s responsible for himself.

I moved up to the highest part of the wreck to finish up the dive and I signaled him my time was up and I was going up. He seemed to say he was going to stay down. I signaled again to go up and he reluctantly agreed to follow me. At the safety stop I hung out with him for a really long time because I knew he needed to off gas.

Finally back on the boat I asked if he exceeded his no deco time. He looked at his pressure gauge and said, “no, I still have 1k air left”. I said air isn’t the issue on deep dives, it’s the no deco time, you have to monitor your nitrogen absorption. He replied, “I’ve never dived nitrox”.

I looked closer at his gear which was all rental stuff. He only had a pressure gauge, no dive computer, watch or bottom timer.

I don’t think the guy was certified. He told me how he dives with friends in Mexico and I got the impression they just take him diving without any training. Then he told me stories how his friends would smoke pot, then dive down to 200 feet to get even more baked.

I decided to lose him as a dive buddy for the second dive. There were two other people who paired up, one on nitrox one on air and I asked the woman on nitrox if she’d pair with me as her buddy was on air as well. I figured at least the other guy on air would keep the Jose safer. However, her partner decided he wasn’t feeling it and bailed on the second dive. So, instead of dumping Jose, this woman was added to the group.

Jose swapped tanks and didn’t bungie it in and it fell over on the diver next to him. He put it back up on the rack, didn’t bungie it in, walked across the boat to get water and it fell to the deck again.

I mentioned to Jose again that he would need to surface before me and the woman because were on nitrox and he was on air. He said he had plenty of air left over from the first dive and would be okay.

We prepared to get in for the second dive. Jose gets up and walks to the doorway and the captain said, “you might need your weight belt”. Jose goes back and sits down and takes of his BCD etc. We’re last in again.

The dive goes fine with me navigating for two buddies. Jose is again oblivious to his nitrogen load. Since the viz is poor, I look for blennies to do some macro video. I find one sitting in a good spot where I can set up the tripod. I set it up and turn on the light and hit record. Jose swims over right in front of my setup and starts poking his fingers at the blenny. WTF! I wave my hand in front of his face and wave him away.

Later on I find a lobster and setup the camera and Jose swims over and plants his flipper on the wreck surface right next to my camera and blasts the whole area with silt. At this point I’m almost hoping he gets the bends! Not really.

I check in with the woman over dive time knowing Jose will be clueless. She and I were in sync and started up the anchor line with Jose following behind us.

Back on the boat I asked Jose why he was messing with the things I was trying to video. He said he wanted to see the blenny’s eyes move around. I told him to find another one if I’m videoing it. He said he thought he was not in the scene.

Anyway, one of the worst diving experiences I’ve had.

[Scubie Doo]

Sorry to hear about your experience. Big props for looking after this guy the way you did. I travel a lot for business, so I have gone diving many times on boats by myself. Sometimes I feel I could write a book on all the crappy partners I've had. Right or wrong I now look at these situations as a solo dive. If someone is being a responsible buddy, then I will reciprocate. Otherwise, he or she is on thier own. I always mention my concern to a DM or the captain. But if I was diving with a Jose, and he was being reckless, not my responsibility. I've been ditched and left alone before and the bottom line is that people like Jose could care less about your well being. Sounds harsh, but it's true.

After being left a few times and put in dangerous situations. I assume that my "buddy" is not going to have my back until proven otherwise. I am pretty vocal to the staff when I don't want to partner with someone. If they insist, I insist a DM join us to bail the liability out. I know it is selfish, but I have a bigger responsibility to hug my kids when I return from my trip.

[60south]

basically, I'd like some advice about what you do when buddying with a stranger for a dive. Do you have any methods for evaluating their abilities? And, perhaps a way to decline partnering with them? And, at what point do you feel you are responsible for someone else's safety?

Like Scubie Doo says, kudos for being so altruistic.

Sadly, I've been through similar misadventures many times. I automatically fall into 'divemaster mode' when my buddy is having problems. But a bad buddy degrades your dive, not to mention making it less safe. After enduring these sort of issues so often, I've found I have to be aggressive about my own safety and enjoyment. It runs against my grain to not help people, but...

- On the boat, I am immediately sizing-up the other divers, looking for potential problems and identifying good/bad divers. How they set up their gear, and the type of gear, are good indicators. If they dither or seem confused, that's a red flag. A quick, friendly conversation with the other divers can be revealing.

- I'm proactive about selecting a buddy with similar skills and objectives.

- Some boats will try to pair a good diver with a bad one, hoping that the good diver will look after the other. If I detect this, I reject it -- it will spoil my dive. I (and you) are paying customers and deserve to have a good time.

- If I have one bad dive with a poor buddy, I'll ask the captain or divemaster to pair me with someone else next time.

Good luck.