What makes a good mentor?

[Sounder]

In the spirit of the "what makes a good diver" thread, I would like to hear opinions as to what makes a good mentor. I certainly know what a difference a good mentor can make and know others on the board who have similar feelings.

Experienced divers - what makes a good mentor?

New divers - are you interested in having a mentor? If so, what would/do you look for in one?

[airsix]

I think a good mentor is like a good personal trainer - able to present you with challenges balanced with encouragement. I think it is also important for mentors to set attainable success benchmarks. It can be difficult to gauge your own progress unless someone else is observing and can say "15 dives ago you couldn't do X, but now you can. Good work! Now let's try Y." Without that kind of feedback you may forget that you've conquered X and only focus on not being able to do Y.

I won't embarrass my mentors (some of whom are here) by calling them out, but characteristics I admire in them are:
* Methodical, deliberate actions.
* An expectation that certain standards will be maintained. (every good classroom has rules)
* Forgiving of minor mistakes and teaches from them. Not the same as 'ignores mistakes'.
* Competent, confident, but never arrogant.
* Encouraging
* Eager to teach. Not the same as 'eager to boast'.

I think more people should ASK someone to be their mentor. There have been times I would have been happy to mentor someone (activities not related to diving) had they asked. I didn't want to be presumptuous by volunteering. I wasn't comfortable saying "I would be happy to show you some things that have helped me." for fear of it sounding like "you're a train-wreck and obviously can't do this without me." I know this was wrong of me as it may have denied someone help they would have welcomed. I'll remember this next time the opportunity arises.

-Ben

[spatman]

y'know, ben, you're so good with your descriptions that you leave very little for the rest of us to say.

so yeah, what ben said! :occasion5:

and yes, sounder, i would like to have mentors, and someday be able to pay that forward just as several divers on this board have already done for me.

[Sounder]

Wow, nice work Ben.

Well, feel free to add to what Ben wrote... but in an effort not to have this thread die, how about examples of how/when a mentor helped you learn something. Feel free to throw out some props and kudos if you want!

What, when, how, etc did a mentor help you when you were freshly out of OW or when you were entering Cave or Tech training (or anytime between)??

[dwashbur]

* Eager to teach. Not the same as 'eager to boast'.
-Ben

Most definitely. Not all teachers can teach, and not all mentors can ment. Having taught various subjects and fields for about 30 years now, you have to LOVE teaching and constantly be in personal motion finding better ways to do it, and live for the other people and not yourself. When I was teaching computer applications, I would begin practically every term by first, presenting the goals of the course, and then my little speech: "I'm not here to prove that I know more than you do. If I don't, what in the world are you doing here? I'm here to share what I know with you in a way that is going to be practical and usable for you. I make you two promises. First, I won't jerk you around. I refuse to make you memorize useless information just because it's there. If it's not useful in your everyday computing, it doesn't matter. So if you don't see how something is useful, ask. And if it turns out it's not useful, feel free to tell me so and I'll remove it from the curriculum.

And second, I won't lie to you."

And I've had any number of teachers who would have done better to be sweeping the floor or driving the bus. So anyone who is considering being a mentor of this kind, especially in a life-or-death proposition like diving, I'd recommend thinking long and hard about this particular criterion.

Just my thoughts. I'll climb off the soapbox now..........

[Fishstiq]

I have had great mentors/instructors, and I have had HORRIBLE ones. I won't go off on someone who is not here to defend themselves, so putting aside the horribles....

The mentors I consider great share a few characteristics. I know very little about them personally, as they never take up the conversation with talking about themselves. I know very few of their accomplishments, because they don't brag about them. They have made me feel like an absolute HERO for the smallest of accomplishments (one of them would even applaude me underwater when I got something right, even if it was only right for a second before it went to **** again). That kind of thing kept me trying and made me try harder, just to get that "attaboy" from someone I respected. My chosen mentors generally shun praise as vigorously as they dole it out, quickly changing the conversation away from themselves when it goes that way. They are paitient. They are skilled and proficient in ways I have no concept of (yet), but they focus this knowledge on people like me to help us, not to impress us.

I won't name names, because that's not why they do what they do. But if anyone ever asks me, I know exactly where to point them without hesitation. I am proud to be associated with those I consider mentors, and I feel privledged that they considered me worth their time and effort.

:smt038

[LCF]

Well, I think a lot of people here know that Bob was my mentor. He pretty much epitomizes what a mentor should be, to me. To begin with, he has very good skills of his own, so he can serve as a beautiful model that somebody can watch and learn just from observing.

In addition, he's had experience helping people, and has a lot of ideas to offer to help solve common new diver problems. When I had difficulties descending, he had three or four different ideas on how to address it. (They worked!)

He's patient. Looking back, I have no idea why he was willing to dive with my repeatedly, because I made progress so slowly! But he was always encouraging, pointing out the progress I did make, and then working on the next thing. That's important; you can't try to fix everything at once or you overload and discourage people.

He ENJOYS mentoring. Although I often felt like an annoyance and a pest, at heart, I always knew he didn't feel that way. And he enjoys DIVING, and passes that passion along.

He has a good library of intellectual understanding of what he's doing. Bob's gas management class was one of my first big eye-openers that there was a lot more to this diving business than I had picked up in getting certified.

Anyway, I was incredibly lucky to have a first-class mentor, and I try as best I can to pass that gift forward.

[Nwbrewer]

Joe, I think that's the most eloquent you've ever been. Well said.

[Pez7378]

(sniff) You're right Jake,

And for the record, although it pains me to say it, he's not talking about me. But to the individual he IS talking about (I hope you know who you are) Thank you for mentoring my dive buddy, before you he was unbearable!

I totally agree with Joe. Wierd.

I also think a good mentor is objective. I prefer to have many mentors, and I don't like to feel caught in the middle. There are so many facets to this sport, and I don't think you can learn every one of them from the same person. Some of my mentors realize that and do not hesitate to direct me to people that can best teach me what I want to learn. Others do not. That thought alone could begin a whole other topic so I will leave it at that.