Drunk talk - absolutely NOT dive related

[Jenbowes]

Okay, so a friend of mine and I went out for drinks tonight, and I have imbibed beyond my minimum daily requirement level. We were having the "I know, right? I love you, man!" conversations.

Our conversation tonight focused on getting old (I'm recently 40, she's turning 50 in December), and what it MEANS and how it FEELS and why it's OKAY!

So drunk! So fun!

So this thread is to find out YOUR favorite drunk topic or conversation. If necessary, you can make it your favorite drunk topic or conversation that focuses on diving. That'd be NEAT!

p.s. no, I did not drive home.

p.p.s. you have no idea how many tries it took me to get this post grammatically correct and typo free - scottsax, did I succeed?.

[mz53480]

this thread comes to mind.....

[Gooch]

O.k. I will start. I find that over nice scotch, cigars and a little fire, my friends and I can solve the worlds problems IF ONLY the free worlds leaders would return my emails. Serious. I can (inebriated) come up with plans for:

1: Middle east peace
2: the gulf oil spill
3: alternate fuels
4: welfare and food stamps
5: The drug problem
6: Over population
5: Don King's hair (o.k. just kidding here- but similar subjects have arose)

Of course, they all evaporate faster than the 16 year single malt(s) and Guinness(es) (ps. add fine cigars here) I drank to concoct them but they (in the moment) a sounded-really-really good.

By the way- the subjects of:
Religion
Politics
Taxes
Sustainability
Megan Fox (Google images- un-moderated)

Also come up and are explored to their fullest. (I mean that- at least with Megan)

In the morning- it's all a blurry haze and I go back to work like a robot or clean house, or make dinner- etc.

But for that glimmering moment- I had it. Really. If only Spat, Matt, Tang and Sock Monkey would believe me.

Sob- I'm just human. I have weaknesses. They include solving the worlds problems. Whilst drunk.

[Matt S.]

Favorite drunk topic?

Quantum physics.

[Penopolypants]

As a woman who grew up in the societal restrictions of the South - a polite, lovely, most genteel group, to whom bodily functions never happen to anyone, at any time - all drunken conversations, regardless of which direction I try with all my might to lead them.....are cursed to come back to one, and only one, topic.....

Farts.

The gods must laugh at me when I drink to excess. "Oh look!" they say. "She doesn't like talking about bodily functions!" they say. "Let's make her best friend, who otherwise would never talk so grossly, imbibe three or five martinis, then embark upon a very loud, very vocal, very detailed, very public discourse, on how hot dogs make her go "prrbbbhhhhhhtttt!" With a hotdog in her hand. Especially with mustard and relish and sauerkraut.

Gah.

No, really.

GAH!

I never had to have the "please,for the love of whatever god you find holy, PLEASE DON'T FART AROUND ME OR TALK ABOUT IT AROUND ME" conversation until I moved to the Pacific NW. And yet EVERY TIME I go out I have to have this conversation. With otherwise seemingly nice, polite, well-bred people....why? WHY?!

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!

Aaaggghhhhrrrgghhh!

Whew! There, I feel better already.

Please, nobody fart at this moment. Thanks.

[Sockmonkey]

Favorite drunk topic?

Just how hammered my girlfriend is

I fixed it for you.

-Eric

[Tangfish]

I fixed it for you.

-Eric

What he really meant was,

Favorite drunk topic?

Lemon Drop Martinis are the best cure for an unknown rash.

[Jenbowes]

P-pants out of my UTTER respect for you, I will not mention farting or poop, despite my hippie affection for the topics.

Sockmonkey - you make me LOL! I hope that Matt S. does too, since ... well, I AM his drunk girlfriend.

Perhaps I should start a Matt Support Group thread for dating a girl like me

[Jenbowes]

this thread comes to mind.....

Despite the 'nownownow" comment from ME, apparently YOU were the drunk one.

And I have I mentioned how much I enjoyed the video?

You bring me joy, MZ!

[Tangfish]

Awwe jeeze, I just realized that I've had too long of a day and hazed the wrong "Matt S."

For some reason the ribbing coming from Sockmonkey just made me think it was spatty being tortured. So, Matt S. - sorry dude!

but my joke still stands

[Jenbowes]

O.k. I will start. I find that over nice scotch, cigars and a little fire, my friends and I can solve the worlds problems IF ONLY the free worlds leaders would return my emails. Serious. I can (inebriated) come up with plans for:

1: Middle east peace
2: the gulf oil spill
3: alternate fuels
4: welfare and food stamps
5: The drug problem
6: Over population
5: Don King's hair (o.k. just kidding here- but similar subjects have arose)

Of course, they all evaporate faster than the 16 year single malt(s) and Guinness(es) (ps. add fine cigars here) I drank to concoct them but they (in the moment) a sounded-really-really good.

By the way- the subjects of:
Religion
Politics
Taxes
Sustainability
Megan Fox (Google images- un-moderated)

Also come up and are explored to their fullest. (I mean that- at least with Megan)

In the morning- it's all a blurry haze and I go back to work like a robot or clean house, or make dinner- etc.

But for that glimmering moment- I had it. Really. If only Spat, Matt, Tang and Sock Monkey would believe me.

Sob- I'm just human. I have weaknesses. They include solving the worlds problems. Whilst drunk.

Gooch, on one stoned night, I believed that blue bathrooms would solve the world's problems. The morning after, I was not exactly sure HOW, but ... whatever.

I would GLADLY have scotch and cigars with you, and solve the world's problems.

[Matt S.]

I'll get over it... in time. *sob*

[Matt S.]

And Jen... GO TO BED.

[Jenbowes]

And Jen... GO TO BED.

Why you gotta challenge me like that?

[spatman]

What he really meant was,

Favorite drunk topic?

Lemon Drop Martinis are the best cure for an unknown rash.

why you gotta bring up old shit?*








*free lemon drop martini for the first person to recognize this movie reference. except bdub. too easy for him.

[lizard0924]

Twister? (NOT the tornado movie)

[blt2go]

Favorite drunk topic?

Just how hammered my girlfriend is

I fixed it for you.

-Eric

How did you fix it? Did you nail her?

(Disclosure: I don't know anyone involved in this discussion, it was just the first thing that came to mind upon reading it, so NO, I am not attempting to start anything here...)

[scottsax]

Favorite drunk topic?

Just how hammered my girlfriend is

I fixed it for you.

-Eric

How did you fix it? Did you nail her?

(Disclosure: I don't know anyone involved in this discussion, it was just the first thing that came to mind upon reading it, so NO, I am not attempting to start anything here...)

Why the disclaimer? That's hilarious!

Oh, Jen, your post was grammatically perfect! Nicely done, chica!

Now, then.... I can be quite chatty up until the 7th or 8th drink, at which time I become what's known as a "quiet drunk." Basically, it means that I've lost the motor skills to operate my tongue correctly. It does NOT, however, mean that I'm too drunk to continue drinking!

Up until that point, some of the most favored topics include music, awful gigs, amazing gigs, awful dates (read: sex,) amazing dates (see awful dates,) drugs (how much I used to do, and how much I either wish I had some, or am glad I don't have some,) and most forms of sci-fi, including, but not limited to, Star Wars vs. Star Trek, and why Firefly was infinitely superior to all other shows and movies, and how much I hate Fox for taking it off the air.

Yes, I still won't let it go.

[Sockmonkey]

Favorite drunk topic?

Just how hammered my girlfriend is

I fixed it for you.

-Eric

How did you fix it? Did you nail her?

(Disclosure: I don't know anyone involved in this discussion, it was just the first thing that came to mind upon reading it, so NO, I am not attempting to start anything here...)

I can't quite find the right response to this... except to ask you to try and imagine the logistics of a transpacific sex act.

...why Firefly was infinitely superior to all other shows and movies, and how much I hate Fox for taking it off the air.

Yes, I still won't let it go.

I'm not sure how Scott did that... but is there a subject a firefly fan can bring up that doesn't circle back to how bitter you are?

"I'm going in for an appendectomy tomorrow."
"Be careful because you know what a shame it is that Fox axed Firefly!"

-Eric

[scottsax]

I'm not sure how Scott did that... but is there a subject a firefly fan can bring up that doesn't circle back to how bitter you are?

No.

Browncoats unite!

[Matt S.]

Funny how Scott always finds himself in an Alliance bar come U-Day.

[scottsax]

Funny how Scott always finds himself in an Alliance bar come U-Day.

What? I just wanted a quiet drink!

[Alexitt]

Gonna have to dig out my brown coat and see if it still fits after all these years...

[ktb]

. . . and most forms of sci-fi, including, but not limited to, Star Wars vs. Star Trek, and why Firefly was infinitely superior to all other shows and movies, and how much I hate Fox for taking it off the air.

Yes, I still won't let it go.

Scott, seriously. Were you and Derrick separated at birth?!? You two need to plan a day to drink Tanqueray and tonics and discuss the finer points of Joss Whedon's genius.

[blt2go]

Why the disclaimer? That's hilarious!

Why the disclaimer? Because some (but not all) people get very, shall we say, touchy and irritable ( ie ) when they think their reputation or that of their significant other is being impugned (how often do you get to use that word?). I just wanted to make sure that I wasn't actually doing that and that it was all in fun.

As to the Trans-Pacific act... Skype video calls can be lots of fun! I will just leave it at that